Of course I would run into this at some novelty shop in the middle of nowhere.... aka Upland... I keeeeed!
Shopkeeper: "Take this plate.... but beware, it carries a terrible curse!"
Homer: "Ooh... that's bad."
Shopkeeper: "But it comes with a free season pass!"
Homer: "That's good!"
Shopkeeper: "The season pass means you'll have to go to ALL Clippers games."
Homer: "That's bad..."
Shopkeeper: "But it comes with a choice of every best amateur player ever!"
Homer: "That's good!"
Shopkeeper: "The last time the Clippers had their choice, they selected Michael Olowakandi."
Homer: [blank stare]
Shopkeeper: ..."That's bad."
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